the art of simply being. an art it is, no doubt. harder to achieve than any thinking person may believe. a challenge that begins for me now. and a lesson in life that should help carry me through the most daunting of times. the concept itself is one that makes perfect, zen-like sense. to learn, through patience and humility, to be still, to be aware, to ingest, to partake, to relax, to let go. i truly believe it would be harder to perfect the art of sculpting or painting than to touch the glimmering hem on the cape of being. the cape of being. sounds like something enshrined in the hall of justice, to be revered by the superheroes of the world. i suppose that is fairly apropos, come to think of it. the trick of this elusive trade comes in the onset. since most of us spend our lives running and doing, huffing and puffing, zinging and moving, finding the end of the string to wind around the spool just to get started seems as difficult a beginning of a task that i've ever heard of. i suppose it's along the lines of the method of homeschooling we're endeavoring at home, namely unschooling. the idea of unlearning what has been set in place for years, since we were small, is an incredibly challenging, yet liberating, journey.
on a more personal level, i have to start this journey before any more time escapes me. i've been searching, sometimes in vain, to find my place in this world. to feel in touch with the pulsating world of words that surrounds this planet. i've begun to feel the strong surge within me. i have mountains to climb, oceans to swim, fences to mend, and one restless soul to soothe. but it all starts with finding the end of that string. just that. once that is accomplished, the rest should come easier. the answers to all that i seek won't be far behind. of this i am convinced. the saying that it's about the journey, not the destination, is rather true for me in this case. it's a journey that has its share of potholes and dark alleys, to be sure. but there are some cafes and newsstands along the way that simply can't be beat. they are my friends. my support. and time with them is as precious and perfect as anything i've witnessed in my nearly 40 years. without those oases, this desert could kill a man. this man. me.
aha...now i've taken an unexpected detour on my journey to being. it's easy to do. so many things to see and appreciate. it's a constantly-changing roadway with no clearly defined lanes. so my focus is needed and my resolve is essential. there's now plenty of fuel in the tank, the road lies ahead of me. i just need to say goodbye to some old fears and self-doubts. it's harder to let go than it should be. everything in my being should WANT to be rid of those things. but as i said, time to unlearn what's been set in stone for too long.
soon enough, the road will get smoother. the traffic lighter. the breeze breezier. the journey i'm starting is one that will take me to places i can't currently foresee. i know what my destination is, but getting there is more fluid. there's no roadmap. no internal GPS. not even a signpost to help me find my way. it's pure instinct that leads me ahead, toward my goal of simply being. as of now i'm simply becoming. not a bad place to start my journey.
i'll send you a postcard.
wish you were here.
having a wonderful time...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Of all the people in all the world..you are the one person I'd put my money on. You're gonna find your way and your peace...there ain't no doubt in my mind.
You even had ME breathing easier by the end of this one. Lovely. Profound. And yet simple, in theory. It'll be quite the journey, of that I'm sure.
I have to admit that I find the lack of capital letters in a digital medium, um...trying. Somehow, in blogger-land, it's just kind of hard on the eyes. Nit-picky, I know, but there you go.
On the bright side, you've already started the journey--so you really needn't worry about time escaping. I would argue that you started years ago. Also, it isn't a race, because there's no finish line and no competition.
But I deny that there isn't "a signpost to help" find your way. There are libraries full of them. Among the fellow non-punctuational, I offer "Les Fleurs du Mal" by Baudelaire, and "i: six nonlectures" by e.e. cummings. For something a little more prosaic: maybe try "A Wanderer in the Perfect City" by Lawrence Weschler, "Wanderlust" by Rebecca Solnit, or "The Man Without Qualities" by Robert Musil.
I guess my point is that, even though the path is your own, as the song says, "you'll never walk alone."
Post a Comment